The uninvited dinner guest

We had our friends Amy and Greg (holla!) over for dinner tonight. We finished dinner, got everything cleaned up, put Large and Medium to bed and were chatting it up while I fed Small and they played with their little one. Something flew past Lin's head and we looked up....I started screaming THERE'S A BAT IN HERE!!!! My AWESOME husband ran right out the front door! Leaving me, two small children and two of our closest friends to fend for ourselves. He claims he was opening the door to 'let the bat out' but I saw the Lin shaped hole in the door. Did I mention at the time I was breastfeeding Small while a bat swoops over my head waiting to suck my blood? So I did what any rational person does, I call 911. I know a bat in your living space is considered an emergency and animal control will come out to promptly remove it. I know this because it happened to another one of my closest friends. She had a bat in her kitchen on a Sat morning and the 911 dispatcher sent animal control, he got the bat, all is well. So I tell them no need for sirens my other kids are asleep ;-) and they tell me to try to seal off the room or at least get into a room where I can close the door. While Amy, Greg, two tiny children and I crawl to the safety of the playroom (the bat swooping and deciding who he is going to bite first) Lin watches us FROM OUTSIDE. As we wait for animal control I make sure all other doors are closed and Amy and I hang a sheet to keep him from flying down the hall. When the police arrive Lin ushers them in and says, "Is animal control on the way?"

And they say, "Oh no, they aren't coming."

Huh?

"They only come if someones been bitten."

Lin says, "Well tell them I've been bitten!"

"Sir, we can't do that"

ooohhh heeeellll NO! I KNOW they come because this happened to my friend!!! My voice is starting to get screamy and irrational. Well call them back!!

"Uh, Ma'am they are not coming"

I felt so violated, I was livid. Why did they care about Emily and not me? Probably because her bat emergency occurred on a Sat morning. So the male cop says to Lin, "You're just gonna have to kill it, Man, it's your house."

Seriously? Well it's your county, brotha. Protect and Serve. My sweet hubby runs out to get his bat killin gear (ie broom, dustpan and bike helmet) while the lady cop says, "You got any hairspray? That will clip his wings for a sec while you hit him."

Really...really? Shall we give him a new hair-do? Y'all two coulda fed me this crap over the phone. Let me tell you now my Baby is not getting bitten by a bat tonight! So I stomp off to go call Em to see how she got animal control to come. Meanwhile Man-cop decided to take a whack it. They ask Lin for a 'heavy shoe' and while he hits the bat with a broom Lady-cop is supposed to smack it with my boot. I hear LOTS of thumping and then Man-cop yells "Good Job!". In the end I am appreciative of their efforts. I need Lin around and free of rabies. And as for Animal Control? Oh yes I will be calling them tomorrow for a little talkin' to!