No peaceful poops in parenthood

So,Manly Monday is going to take a perverse turn down "disgusting street" on only its second week in circulation but I feel like sharing this, its partly my blog so here goes... like most other men, given the time and privacy in the restroom, I come up with most of my amazing ideas, I could resolve world peace, cure cancer, pick the winning lotto numbers, solve world hunger and many more things. But as I said, I need time, peacefulness and privacy. And those were things I gave up when becoming a parent.

Now, dont get me wrong I love my kids, and if you have spent any time around them, you know why. But, I find myself from time to time sneaking into the bathroom shutting the door and hoping for peace, a good read of a "People" magazine, or some other random read that I have more than likely read a half dozen times.

If you dont have kids then this is probably making your face go ewwww, if you do have kids then you are probably doing the same thing just laughing while going ewwwww.

I have always had some weird twisted idea to have a heated toilet seat. Winter, cold.... you know where I am going with this. But today I found out that my 2 daughters had a much better idea. Large and Medium found out that the training potty is the perfect height to use as a step stool to climb onto the changing table in Mediums room. Holly heard the 2 girls laughing in the room. Now I was not there as I was outa town on work but can only imagine Holly walking into the room only to see Large and Medium sitting on the top of the changing table laughing with some "I didnt do it" look on their faces.

Now lets look at the bright side of what could have been a disaster. At least they were finally working together on one end goal, and reached it. They used their heads and came up with a brilliant idea. Bad side..... WTF were they thinking, really.... climbing onto a changing table using a training potty... HA.. I couldnt even write that without laughing.....

Freaky Friday er...I mean Super Saturday!!!

And what a SUPER day it has been so far! I am so blessed to have Lin for a husband!! Single Ladies-- I have one piece of advice for you: MARRY A MAN WHO LIKES TO CLEAN!!!! Who also loves to pamper you, and is willing to work on his weaknesses and cherish you while you work on yours. My Dad and I went to the pool this morning with all the penguins so Lin could tidy up since it is Family Game Night at our crib tonight. So, here's what is on my mind.

1. There is NO cleaning left to do so I am blogging! :-))))) Ok I'll stop bragging now.

2. I start my new job on Sept 7th, I am very excited. I feel lucky and thankful. Sorry for all the complaining I did before!

3. My kids are just too. cute. for. words. (um... I'll stop bragging about Lin ;)

4. I just started a new book, Wally Lamb's The Hour I First Believed

5. My house smells like tacos....YUM-O

6. I really need to read over the rules of Partini before everyone gets here.

7. I hope B & Kristy are safe in Japan and in their travels. (While I am bragging my SIL's are awesome!)

8. Haven't seen my Lindsay Loo all week, we miss that girl. And it has been FAR too long since I have walked with my girl, Brenda.

9. Well that thought started a mile long chain of people that I am missing....if you are reading this I probably miss you, call me.

10. In 6 days my baby Large will be 4!!!! Oh my goodness, where has the time gone? I can't believe it.

Have a great weekend my dear friends!!!!

Otters Anonymous

Oh Dear Readers, (all 3 of you--ha ha just kidding!)
I have missed you so! Sorry I have been a little absent this week, I've out getting a job!!!! YAY!!!! And of course you know how the penguins like to keep it crazy around here. I am working on a cup of half-caf now so there could be LOTS of random thoughts today. I'm still nursing Small and he prefers his milk decaf, so we are livin' on the edge today, folks. What there won't be today is the underlying sense of guilt that I usually have over taking time from my daily do's to write. I did a little experiment yesterday, I tried not taking a break.

Now I am a break-taker. I like to play and relax and I always brought home U's in the 'uses time wisely' section of my report card. Holla if you feel me!!! This did not seem to affect my work performance on the job (especially as I got older) but at school and on the home front I have always struggled with completing my tasks in a timely manner. When I got married Lin and I had to take a personality test in our pre-marital counseling. I am an Otter with a little bit of Lion thrown in. You can check out Gary Smalley's personality types here . Oh yaaay I think I did it! Somebody please call me if the link does not work.....I need a blog tutor. Anyway so the bossy Otter likes to play and have fun as long as it's done my way! Ha ha I am sure Lin is agreeing and laughing as he reads this.

The point is, not taking a break did not work for me. By 7pm I was such a grouch! So I AM going to be more organized and use my time more carefully but I am also going to have a 'lunch hour' and take a break to do whatever I want. And what I love to do is blog! Or read or sleep or watch TV.....anything that's not to chore-ish! :-) So I don't have to say, "Oh I should be doing blah blah blah.." . Oooohh it feels so freeing to say, "I'm gonna blog on my lunch hour today" or "I have 10 minutes left on my lunch break" . It must seem lame to some of you that I am having some revelation about allowing myself a lunch break. I have always taken breaks; this is more about setting limits for a person who is prone to play and not feeling guilty about taking an hour to recharge during the day.

Well, now that I have droned on about that for so long....I guess I better do freaky friday tomorrow and change the title of this post. Back to work for me!!

How Sweet It Is!

Would you like to see an ADORABLE picture of my Small little man? Well then check out this blog . And even if you're not in love with Small (or his feet) you might fall in love with this blog. It's super fun and creative. Plus she takes awesome pictures. Happy Reading!!!

Laugh your way.........

Holly and I got married 5 yrs ago in June, and just like most couples KNEW that we were never going to fight, never going to disagree and never going to go to bed upset at each other and NEVER disappoint one another. That dream quickly sailed. We both learned that we were two different people and it took alot more than love to make a marriage not only work, but be successful.
Holly and I are lucky enough and blessed to be surrounded by many friends and a wonderful church family that have helped us through many tough times. Over the past 5 yrs we have seen that, "hey, we aren't the only screwed up couple in the bunch".
So, lets get to the point. Holly and I attended a marriage seminar this past weekend. I know what your thinking... ewwwww, feelings, tears, tissues and some guy pushing things you really don't want to hear in your face... change change change, its all your fault, BLAH... However my friends, this was totally different. Mark Gungor, the creator of 'laugh your way to a better marriage', had 1,000+ people laughing out loud, tears, but tears of joy, of humor. He has found a way to talk to us about what we all know we need to hear, what we all should hear, but it in a non-judgmental way.
Now those of you who know Holly and me, this will come as no surprise, but her and I sat up front, cause...... Holly needed to hear what he had to say!!! Im right, shes wrong, end of story (JK.. love you Holly). Hey, thats what I heard!! No seriously, there were 4 sections. Friday night we talked about 'his brain and her brain'. Why he thinks like he does and why she thinks like she does. Saturday morning we talked about, what makes him do what he does and what makes her do what she does. Then we talked about SEX.... thats right... all caps... SEX!! WOOT WOOT.... and it was something that I think all couples and all parents should hear. Lastly we talked about, how to be married and NOT kill each other! The seminar was something that could change someones marriage. Something that, I think if given the chance, everyone should either go see or purchase the DVD or at least youtube it. To try and not make this too long I will stop here and leave you with some thoughts, some questions that were discussed in the seminar... enjoy...

-- Do you think that we as a society are trying to feminize Men and Christianity?

-- Ladies, if you didn't know.. I will fill you in, a man's brain is full of boxes, our favorite box is a 'nothing box', and we LOVE our nothing box, and no you don't need to know where it is :)

-- Ladies, Respect your man even before he deserves it, men love and be nice to her even before she deserves it. It will change things in a way you wouldn't believe. I promise

--Men, women work off a points system, to you taking out the trash may be 20 points, dressing the kids 1000 points and buying her a diamond may be 4500 points, but to her they are each 1 point

I hope that this has been funny, entertaining and hasraised some thoughts and questions and conversations.

It's Friday, y'all!!!

Freaky Friday that is!! Where one freaky girl shares her random thoughts. Or one random girl shares her freaky thoughts. Whatever. Busy times around here these days, lots to share.

1. My wrist hurts ALL the time. Can you get carpel tunnel from changing diapers? Who knew! It is really starting to get in the way of my life, I should probably get it checked out. Perhaps I should have asked for a brace for my birthday. :-(

2. I cannot wait to see Mark Gungor tonight! Lin and I are going to a seminar called 'Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage'. We are so excited, this guys is so funny. And what a blessing it is to get some time to focus just on each other! Thanks so much to everyone who helped us make it happen!!

3. I am sitting next to 4, yes I said 4 loads of unfolded laundry and my kitchen is a hot mess. And I have not taken a shower. There are definitely things I should be doing besides blogging!

4. I am pretty sure you can get carpel tunnel from folding laundry.

5. Should I get counseling for my obbsesion with Small's feet?

6. There are several job opportunites to be figured out and decided, pray that Lin and I will make the right choice for our family. It does not seem clear (to me) which way is going to be the better way.

7. CAN'T WAIT for Martha and Neil's engagement party tomorrow night!! Even though I wish I could be at PCC for open mike night, too.

8. I love how I can hide behind the screen of my laptop so Small thinks I am gone and he goes back to sleep....but I can still see those sweet little piggies of his! In case you are not part of the Robison family piggies = toes. And if you are yearning for some quality entertainment I suggest you engage Medium in conversation about which piggies are hers. It goes a little somethin' like this:
ME- Yum those are my piggies (try to grab)
Medium- NO those are my pigs!
Me- I think they are MY piggies (try to eat--without getting kicked in the face :-)
Medium- NO those are MY pigs! (much grabbing and flailing here)......
Anyway, you get the picture.

9. I wish I was laying out at the pool or beach right now.

10. There are ALOT of mosquitos in my back yard...perhaps we should have set Mr.Bat free.

11. I just realized the clock on my computer is wrong! Wow that totally messed me up! I have to go pack the penquins bags, NOW!!

Have a GREAT weekend, dear Readers!!!!

Ladies, does this remind you of your man?

***Warning ladies, viewing the following could change your view on men altogether***

The uninvited dinner guest

We had our friends Amy and Greg (holla!) over for dinner tonight. We finished dinner, got everything cleaned up, put Large and Medium to bed and were chatting it up while I fed Small and they played with their little one. Something flew past Lin's head and we looked up....I started screaming THERE'S A BAT IN HERE!!!! My AWESOME husband ran right out the front door! Leaving me, two small children and two of our closest friends to fend for ourselves. He claims he was opening the door to 'let the bat out' but I saw the Lin shaped hole in the door. Did I mention at the time I was breastfeeding Small while a bat swoops over my head waiting to suck my blood? So I did what any rational person does, I call 911. I know a bat in your living space is considered an emergency and animal control will come out to promptly remove it. I know this because it happened to another one of my closest friends. She had a bat in her kitchen on a Sat morning and the 911 dispatcher sent animal control, he got the bat, all is well. So I tell them no need for sirens my other kids are asleep ;-) and they tell me to try to seal off the room or at least get into a room where I can close the door. While Amy, Greg, two tiny children and I crawl to the safety of the playroom (the bat swooping and deciding who he is going to bite first) Lin watches us FROM OUTSIDE. As we wait for animal control I make sure all other doors are closed and Amy and I hang a sheet to keep him from flying down the hall. When the police arrive Lin ushers them in and says, "Is animal control on the way?"

And they say, "Oh no, they aren't coming."

Huh?

"They only come if someones been bitten."

Lin says, "Well tell them I've been bitten!"

"Sir, we can't do that"

ooohhh heeeellll NO! I KNOW they come because this happened to my friend!!! My voice is starting to get screamy and irrational. Well call them back!!

"Uh, Ma'am they are not coming"

I felt so violated, I was livid. Why did they care about Emily and not me? Probably because her bat emergency occurred on a Sat morning. So the male cop says to Lin, "You're just gonna have to kill it, Man, it's your house."

Seriously? Well it's your county, brotha. Protect and Serve. My sweet hubby runs out to get his bat killin gear (ie broom, dustpan and bike helmet) while the lady cop says, "You got any hairspray? That will clip his wings for a sec while you hit him."

Really...really? Shall we give him a new hair-do? Y'all two coulda fed me this crap over the phone. Let me tell you now my Baby is not getting bitten by a bat tonight! So I stomp off to go call Em to see how she got animal control to come. Meanwhile Man-cop decided to take a whack it. They ask Lin for a 'heavy shoe' and while he hits the bat with a broom Lady-cop is supposed to smack it with my boot. I hear LOTS of thumping and then Man-cop yells "Good Job!". In the end I am appreciative of their efforts. I need Lin around and free of rabies. And as for Animal Control? Oh yes I will be calling them tomorrow for a little talkin' to!

Super Saturday!

Well dear friends, I really meant to put up a Freaky Friday list for ya...but I didn't get to it! Hope Super Saturday will be ok with you. One tired lady's random thoughts:

-Robison Family vaca is an AWESOME idea!

-Why is Lin making me watch 'Cocktail'? Tom Cruise=eewwww

- I really need to wake up Small to feed him

-Dear Lin, I am drawing the line....I am NOT watching Nitro Circus AGAIN! <3 , Me

-Had such an great time with my girls from high school today!!!

- It's easier to have random thoughts when it is quiet and you're alone.

- I def should not have let small eat for an hour in the middle of the night last just because I got to a really good part in the book I am reading.

- I have not seen Eclipse yet, if I go see it at the Byrd is that going to make my fanny sore?

- Medium said to me yesterday, "ouch Momma, you broke my fanny!" I was changing her diaper and I am not sure what I did to hurt her but I laughed ALOT which caused her to say it over and over again.

-I have been thinking alot lately about the last family I worked for. If you guys read this I love you and miss you, K, S, & A!!!

That's all folks!!!!!!

Advice from Lin

Ok I have decided that as a dad I need to be full of advice among other things to at least seem wise in front of my kids, So with that. I am starting an advice column for this blog. I will try and post a word of advice a few times a week. So be on the look out. Here is my first of many. Pay close attention, as what this talks about, is very important!

I guess I WILL have to be a professional blogger after all!

Dear Faithful Readers,

I am in SUCH a bad mood! I have been searching for a job, as some of you know. And I have been interviewing with a family who needed a Nanny/House Manager. Well I am devastated to say that I did not get the job! They went with the lady who wanted more hours. Hmph. I was a nanny for many years before the penguins and I NEVER had trouble getting a job....good ones even. My first thought is to blame my sweet angels for dragging down my marketability as a nanny, but maybe it's just not God's plan. Blaaahhh! Yes, I can say that about God's plan because we are that tight and He knows I will go along with His will even if it is seriously bruising my ego.

Some of you are probably saying, 'What the hell is a House Manager?'. Basically it's a paid wife without the sex. Grocery shopping, meal planning and prep, errands, dry cleaning, bill paying....all the things I do for Lin for FREE!

All this rejection is starting to get to me, I think I will go drown my sorrows in a bowl of Reece's pieces + chocolate chips. I need some cheering up, oh I know...all of you could convince everyone you know to read our blog everyday. Then we could have sponsors and I could devote all my free time to entertaining you! I promise to never go on vacation. And to try not to endlessly rattle on about my adorable children. And to let you know when anything exciting happens around here (or on E! news). Sound good? I thought so!

Love you guys, H

Manly Monday

So Holly gets Freaky Friday.. so I figured.. I would get Manly Monday... makes sense right.. I mean, I have random thoughts as well... even IF mine usually come from a long visit to the restroom....

Holly and I came home from vaca this past weekend, and she quickly found out that we didnt have internet service... I quickly found out that the neighbors that we were "borrowing" it from didnt have it either, which is why we dont... Holly is a bit upset... How dare our neighbors have their internet service broken like that.. shame....

Getting back to work from a week of vacation, is NOT a vacation.

Sometimes I wonder if the way I pray is wrong even though I know there is no wrong way to pray.

I am upset and ashamed at times that Holly has to get a job and I cannot support my family in a way that I would like. (I guess its a man thing)

Footballs season starts soon.. good for Me... bad for Holly....

I want a dog.... a fun friendly licking, goofy dog

MY butt iches....(remember... its a Manly Monday)

When Holly and I watch MTV.... yes that is our vice... it makes me feel soooo old

well since I know most of the readers here are women, I dont wanna bore you all with My thoughts. So I will leave you with those....and a grunt... HA