Death to a Barbie

This story is told through the eyes of Holly's Husband Lin (yes I do have a name)

Growing up I was surrounded by guys, myself, my 2 younger brothers, my father and then there was the all boys high school. So needless to say, growing up in my house, you had a better chance of actually seeing a "no see em" when you camp than a Barbie, My Little Pony, anything pink or anything with long enough hair that you can comb (and if you don't know what a "no see em" is.... go camping). So, when Medium came running to me with Barbie parts yelling, "Large broke my Barbie Daddy," I really wanted to laugh, but had to pull the DAD face out and try to fix it. Being a man, I tried to fix it, but when I realized that it wasn't fixable due to some strange parts, I thought.... hmmmmm.... picture time, so without further ado..... here is BARBIE!!

Love Letters.....Kinda Sorta

Dear Flu Mist,
I'm pretty sure you SUCK and by suck I mean don't work at all!

Dear TamaFlu,
I am pretty sure you don't suck, Large looks like a new little lady.

Dear Medium,
No, Small can not be your horse. Not even your horsey.

Dear Day Light Savings Time,
I dig you man, the penguins have slept past 630 everyday since you started!

Dear Large,
Congrats on losing your first tooth, Baby!! Too bad your Dad and I tore the house apart and we still can't find it. I'm glad you were not freaked out by the fact that you may have swallowed it. I'm also a little glad that you WERE freaked out about the idea of a strange lady sneaking into your room while you slept. But I am the most glad, elated even, that you offfered to share two of your 'moneys' with Medium. You melt my heart.

Dear Warm Weather,
Will you please come back, I really miss you!

Dear KT and SR,
Will you please please come back, I REALLY REALLY miss you. :-)

Dear Dr T@@@@ and Associates,
I like you guys very much, you know I do. But I hope its a looooong time before I see you again. 4 trips to the pediatrician in 2 weeks is way too many.

Dear Germs of Any Kind,
Get the HECK outta my house/children/face!!! Seriously, don't make me.......

Dear Sweet Hubby, (and my heroic contact lens rescuer)
I <3 U!!!

Love Always (except you Germs!), Holly/Mama

Cranky Pants in the Hooouuuuse.

I am feeling cranky today. Shouldn't I be all chipper since it's Friday? Perhaps I've grown tired of swimming in the sea of snotty tissues that is my house. Another day of Lysol and albuterol might just cause my brain to blow up. Since I don't feel like putting sentences together I am gonna list it out today.

Things I Am Tired Of:
1. expensive gas
2. crying children
3. sneezing, coughing, runny noses
4. rectal thermometers (it's the only kind I have) and fevers

When Large gets her temp checked at the doctor she likes to totally humiliate me by saying to the nurse, "At least you don't have to put it on my fanny!" Poor poor poor penguins.

5. being stuck in the house
6. not eating pizza and really wanting to eat pizza
7. not having the time or the motivation to work out
8. 'tag-team' breaks instead of dates with my sweetie
9. 2 weeks of Grey's Anatomy reruns
10. having thin hair


I Am Glad I Am NOT:
1. single or without any support system
2. flat broke...I am fluffy broke :D
3. a person who isn't friends with Melissa....she's FAB

She gave me a copy of the Message this week. I really really love it. If you have a hard time committing to reading your bible (like I do) you should DEF check out the Message. How very thoughtful and sweet of her. Love you girl!!

4. sick along with my children

I like to picture myself as Wonder Woman (NOT in under-roos!) when it comes to germs. It's amazing how rarely I get sick since I hang out with those germy penguins all day. You know what that means...I'll be on here next week cryin' about how sick I am!

5. the victim of a tsunami or an earthquake
6. without God

Don't let all my complaining get you down! Have a great weekend!

What a smart little blog!

My blog is smarter than me, I guess! I worked on a post for two weeks and I finally finished it buuuut when I posted it ended up behind that last post....in chronological order. Ok blogging friends...how do I fix that? Or I guess y'all could just scroll down. Either way check out 'Oh Happy Day'.

Things I Love About My Guy

I try not to brag too much about my husband, I don't want to make anyone crabby or jealous or slam their laptop closed in disgust. But sometimes I just can't help myself, I packed it all into one post so I wouldn't drag out the bragging. Disclaimer: the following post might be too gross or too mushy or just plain tmi for you. I apologize in advance!

1. If you can slip in enough commercials he will watch lifetime movies with you. He might even get a 'tude when you change the channel during the commercial.

2. He passed gas the other night while we were watching tv, it smelled so bad that I dry heaved. Then in true Lin fashion he says, "That's how DADDY does it!" I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life. Thanks Honey but I'd prefer NOT to gag and pee on myself in the same 5 seconds.

3. He let me tell that story on our blog, he is never afraid to be the butt of the joke. That makes him so much fun.

4. Sometimes he likes to deflect my complaining with humor. That's a good idea and it almost always works.

5. He works so very hard to provide for our family. 5 people on one income is NOT easy.

6. My ringtone. If you haven't heard you want to.

7. He is affectionate and warm and thoughtful and loving.

8. I don't think I know anyone else who is so willing (or able) to improve himself. He made real changes in himself to improve our marriage. That is very impressive and unusual.

9. He is funny, so so funny.

10. Our penguins are totally in love with him. (Just like me! ;-)

11. He thinks women should be curvy...HOLLA!!!!!

12. He loves God and he is not afraid to say it/show it.

These are not the only things I love about him. I could go on forever. I just wanted to hit the highlights.

Oh Happy Day!

I consider myself a fairly resilient person. (My sister is giggling right now!) I didn't used to be but I think I am now. So when my pediatrician says to take Large to have the wax professionally removed from her ears by the ENT I'm thinkin' 'no biggie, I got this'. Ha! Well think again. Large is very anxious about...well....everything. So she has been in a panic ever since I told her we had to go to the Dr today. Just for fun Medium has to throw in, "I not going to the earw dr....I gonna stay here wif Grandad and take care of the little guys!". Hey thanks Meds and just for the record you ARE one of the little guys. Anyhoo, so off we go all the while Large repeating over and over (with her hands over her ears) 'Mom, I wanna go home'. This is not gonna be good. She tears up as soon as we get into the parking lot. She asks the receptionist if we can go home now. The nice lady tries to comfort her by saying 'but honey, we don't have any shots here!'. Large bursts into tears and wails 'but I like shots better!!!!'. She looks at me like I am the mother of a crazy child and I gently try to explain that my sweet Large would prefer a shot over pretty much anything else they have to offer. She continues to look at me like we're a whole family of crazy. She ain't seen nothin' yet. She should come over and try to look at our family portraits or try to reach the shampoo. So the nurse leads us into the exam room and poor Large finds the nearest corner, stands in it, covers her ears and starts to cry, hard. By the time the Dr comes in she is wailing so loudly that we can't even have a conversation. Finally he just says 'lets get this over with'. I couldn't agree more...maybe.



We (try to) lay her down and Dr. tells me to lay me bosom (yes he actually said bosom and yes I giggled a little) over her knees while holding down her arms. Now I used to be a Care Partner on the Pediatric care floor at MCV. I held down babies and kids while they were enduring all sorts of blood draws and treatments almost every night that I worked. I know how this works. My poor Large gets her ears cleaned out pretty frequently. I got this.



Oh how wrong I was! That might have been the WORST several minutes of my life. I am not kidding. She was screaming in a way that I have never heard. She was screaming things like 'STOP', 'NOT SO HARD' , 'GO SLOWER, YOUR HURTING ME!!!!'. I was trying to say the most comforting things I could think of but I know she could not hear me over her wails. I did something I thought I'd never do. I looked away. Being the kind of person who always watches and stays calm and tries to sooth this was weird for me. It was not very 'super-momish' . Or maybe it was, do the super-moms always look away? Anyway, I thought I was going to cry or throw-up or both. Finally, after what felt like 3 hours, he was finished. I grabbed my sweet baby and held her as tight as I could. I was trying very hard not to cry. She lifts her head and says, 'Mom, I can listen now!'

The poor abused ent rejoiced when he heard that. He said that made his day! Save it dude, I have not even recovered from what just happen here. We gather up to leave and Large has pretty much recovered. I, on the other hand, feel like someone replaced my bones with jello. We get in the car and she is singing and chatting. 'Phew, Mom, let's not do that anymore!' she says as I am starting up the van. I burst into tears. Tiger Mom I am not.

Just for the record, it took me two weeks to finish this post and when I wrote the end I still felt a little teary!!

If You Can't Beat 'Em....Join 'Em!

The penguins and I went out of town this weekend so my STUD could do some painting and projects around the house. I came home to some beautifully painted rooms and a new bedroom and bathroom!!! I know your jealous, he's cute and handy. Soooooo after my blog post about the shower caddy incident which you can read http://http://2vs3.blogspot.com/2011/02/hair-products-and-head-injuries.html (here) one would have thought that my man would have been super attentive to the height of all things hung. Well think again. In our new bathroom we have a new vanity, fixins, and two freshly painted cabinets. One formerly white and one formerly light brown. Now both espresso to match the vanity. And hung up WAY TOO HIGH! Are you kidding me? Seriously? Am I talking to a wall here? I walked into the bathroom and Lin is showing me around and telling me where everything has been moved. I am thinking 'really'??? I can't even reach these. He kindly placed all my hair clips in drawers that are OVER MY HEAD. I literally have to take the drawers out to get to my hair clips. If you are reading this honey, I really do love and appreciate all the hard you work you did. I would never pick on you about it if I hadn't just written a post (that I know you read) about this very topic last week. :-) So the best I can figure is one of two things is happening here. Either Lin is planning to surprise me tonight with one of those fancy stools with my name cut out in puzzle pieces. Or He hangs everything too high hoping that I will walk around the house wearing 4 inch heals all the time. I would considers 4 inch heeled slippers but I can't carry Small when I am wearing such high shoes. And I would be devastated if I had to take him to the er and tell them I broke his finger with my stilettos when he was speed crawling under my feet. CPS would love that one, 'Sorry Small, your Mom is a street walker.' Anyway.....

Hope you all have a lovely week and beautiful Valentine's Day. Please remember there are lots of different kinds of love out there. All are important and need to be nurtured. No matter where you are in your journey God wants to be in your heart. Always. No Matter What.