Oh Happy Day!

I consider myself a fairly resilient person. (My sister is giggling right now!) I didn't used to be but I think I am now. So when my pediatrician says to take Large to have the wax professionally removed from her ears by the ENT I'm thinkin' 'no biggie, I got this'. Ha! Well think again. Large is very anxious about...well....everything. So she has been in a panic ever since I told her we had to go to the Dr today. Just for fun Medium has to throw in, "I not going to the earw dr....I gonna stay here wif Grandad and take care of the little guys!". Hey thanks Meds and just for the record you ARE one of the little guys. Anyhoo, so off we go all the while Large repeating over and over (with her hands over her ears) 'Mom, I wanna go home'. This is not gonna be good. She tears up as soon as we get into the parking lot. She asks the receptionist if we can go home now. The nice lady tries to comfort her by saying 'but honey, we don't have any shots here!'. Large bursts into tears and wails 'but I like shots better!!!!'. She looks at me like I am the mother of a crazy child and I gently try to explain that my sweet Large would prefer a shot over pretty much anything else they have to offer. She continues to look at me like we're a whole family of crazy. She ain't seen nothin' yet. She should come over and try to look at our family portraits or try to reach the shampoo. So the nurse leads us into the exam room and poor Large finds the nearest corner, stands in it, covers her ears and starts to cry, hard. By the time the Dr comes in she is wailing so loudly that we can't even have a conversation. Finally he just says 'lets get this over with'. I couldn't agree more...maybe.



We (try to) lay her down and Dr. tells me to lay me bosom (yes he actually said bosom and yes I giggled a little) over her knees while holding down her arms. Now I used to be a Care Partner on the Pediatric care floor at MCV. I held down babies and kids while they were enduring all sorts of blood draws and treatments almost every night that I worked. I know how this works. My poor Large gets her ears cleaned out pretty frequently. I got this.



Oh how wrong I was! That might have been the WORST several minutes of my life. I am not kidding. She was screaming in a way that I have never heard. She was screaming things like 'STOP', 'NOT SO HARD' , 'GO SLOWER, YOUR HURTING ME!!!!'. I was trying to say the most comforting things I could think of but I know she could not hear me over her wails. I did something I thought I'd never do. I looked away. Being the kind of person who always watches and stays calm and tries to sooth this was weird for me. It was not very 'super-momish' . Or maybe it was, do the super-moms always look away? Anyway, I thought I was going to cry or throw-up or both. Finally, after what felt like 3 hours, he was finished. I grabbed my sweet baby and held her as tight as I could. I was trying very hard not to cry. She lifts her head and says, 'Mom, I can listen now!'

The poor abused ent rejoiced when he heard that. He said that made his day! Save it dude, I have not even recovered from what just happen here. We gather up to leave and Large has pretty much recovered. I, on the other hand, feel like someone replaced my bones with jello. We get in the car and she is singing and chatting. 'Phew, Mom, let's not do that anymore!' she says as I am starting up the van. I burst into tears. Tiger Mom I am not.

Just for the record, it took me two weeks to finish this post and when I wrote the end I still felt a little teary!!