Oceans of Emotions

My middle child is an extraordinary little person. She is hilarious and affectionate and stubborn and very fashionable (spinny skirts only please!). And sometimes she brings me right to my knees. She likes for us to sing to her every night before she goes to bed. Now Large has some standards, she likes to hear the same songs every night. You must sing them in the same order. Every now and then she will switch it up on you. But not my Medium, you never know what your going to get with her.

Medium: Sing the earring song, Mom. (insert very large grin here)
Me: I don't think I know that one, Meds.
Medium: How about the eyebrow song?
Me: I don't know that one either, can you sing it for me?
Medium: No, Mom YOUR supposed to sing it!

So then I usually make up a song about how much I love her (and eyebrows or earrings or a favorite toy of hers) and set it to a tune I already know. It's always a big hit. Thank heavens they don't rat me out when the 'lalaloopsy' song is different every time. If you are ever babysitting and she asks you to sing some random song at bedtime just make something up! :D A couple weeks ago she went to 'big Church' with me. (That's what she calls the Powhatan Campus) She did not want to go in the nursery so she sat in Church with me. A couple weeks later she sat in Church with me at PCCs Westchester campus. On tuesday of that week I was putting her to bed and here is how our conversation went.

Me: What song do you want tonight?
Medium: I want The New Song, Mom.
Me: Do I know that one?
Meds: Yes, Mom, from Movie Church (that is what she calls Westchester- we meet in a movie theatre).

I think for a minute......do you mean this? (I sing the chorus of I Am New by Jason Gray - if you don't know this song give it a listen)

Meds: Yes Mommy that's The New Song, we love that one.

We really do love that one its probably my favorite these days. I was really impressed and proud that she remembered it. Then she says:

Meds: And how about The Loud Song now?
Me: Can you sing me that one? Is it from Movie Church too?
Meds: Yes, Mom, its the one that was too loud. (She sings a couple words from the chorus of Happy Day by Tim Hughes)

I am thinking what a smart little lady, with good taste in music! How neat she remembered two songs from church on Sunday! So I sing it and then she says :

Meds: And now I want The Other Song.
Me: Sing that one for me.
Medium: All things work together for my good/You make all things work together for my good...

Now, if you know Christian music you might know that is the bridge from Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture.

By now I am trying not to cry while I sing because I am so proud. Then I think, wait...we didn't sing that in Church on Sunday? That was 2 or 3 weeks ago!! And then it hit me. She sees, hears, absorbs, and notices everything I do and say and everything I expose her to. Then came the ocean of guilt, pressure and responsibility. Oh my gosh I hope she logs away more of the good stuff than the bad stuff! Thinking about how she watches my every move and takes it ALL in made me want to crawl right in bed with her and sleep for a week. Luckily her toddler bed will not hold us both. So I was forced to tuck her in go back to the living room to face the reminder that they are ALWAYS watching me and I better work harder at not messing them up (too much). After I made a little trip past the 'therapy jar' (the jar that I put money in every time I am reminded how badly I scar my children :) to make my deposit, I thought about how glad I am that I expose my children to Powhatan Community Church. The love they receive and the things they learn amaze me every week. Hopefully that makes up for all the raised voices and days when I don't read to them for '30 minutes or more' and impatience. If not...there is always the therapy jar! :D